The "I" factor theory to kill 'ego'


Niraj Chaturvedi
Academic Associate

Some questions are frequently asked by my sole, and willingly or un-willingly, I have to answer them-

- Who am I?
- What for I am?
- Why I am doing something?
- For what I shall strive for?
- What is the use of doing hard work?
- Whether I have something for myself only or not?
- How much I will have to tolerate?

And these things always put a pressure over the mind and they call for running away from the responsibilities. But somewhere they make a big impact over the authority part and always exert me to have big egoistic feeling.

Hey! Just hold on; here the real thing is hidden. Oh! It's the "ego" that is creating a feeling of complexness. At the first level, it starts with superiority complex- that I have the sole power and the thing I am getting in-lieu of; are very little in comparison to my efforts. It has always created a level of great un-satisfaction and as a result of it I have found myself difficult to cope-up with organizational hierarchies. Also, I lived more in dilemma than reality and it has paid me more worthless things like anxiety and frustration and as a consequent of it, I have been unable to satisfy even a single sole.

Whereas, the second side of coin is the reality. My superiority complex has shown the seeds of clashes because it has always been the case that I have seen in-efficiency in my sub-ordinates, my colleagues, and even my bosses. On contrary, they have found me difficult to meet with and my qualities are being over-shadowed by my erratic ness.

It's not the case that these things are present in me genetically. In-fact, they have been developed over a period of time and they are present almost in every individuals mind. The reasons to be stated can be summarized in a single statement- "more expectations, but fewer opportunities to fulfill them".

To be more elaborative, 'ego' is not the result of desires only; indeed some other factors are included in the list like dissatisfaction, lack of knowledge and the mindset.

For us the thing of concern is to how to overcome the ego problems and make ourselves more adjustable to the situations we are facing. It is not the thing of importance for an individual only; it is the matter of concern for the prosperity of whole organizational set-up.

Now, we will have to first look at the complete life-cycle of an individual and to me it is like this-

01- Mother & Father- they are responsible for bringing a baby to this world. Henceforth, they are the first souls to come in the life of an individual.

02- Relatives – after mother and father, even the real brothers and sisters are relatives of an individual. Because they are related with him/her by blood relationship, i.e, they have shares not the "ownership".

03- Teacher- he/she is the first stranger in the life of an individual and he/she is the guiding force responsible for the development of a sole. There is a reason to put teacher apart from the society, as he is above the society.

04- Society-after the arrival of teacher in a kids life; he/she knows that there are some more persons other than the relative ones and they are now termed as friend, friend's dad/mom, etc.

05- Boss – this individual is on first appearance looks as a part of society. But, in real terms he/she is entirely a different society and for whom many a times one has break the societal rules.

06- Wife/husband- they are the name of the first real responsibility which one has to take in his/her life and once taken over, they have to be satisfied.

07- Children- these are the creature of an individual.

After studying the life cycle of an individual; the thing of concern is to look at the priorities/responsibilities that an individual has towards these group of people-

01-Mother & Father- since they have given birth to the very sole, hence they have the     full right over all the things of baby's life. But, the greatest thing is that parents don't demand anything ever from their children, it is they who always try to do something for their betterment. This doesn't mean that we shall not do anything for our parents; in-fact we will have to die-hard for them and even then we will not be able to return them anything.

02-Relatives- for relatives there are both pros and counts-
The pros are- they have given us the joy, so we must care for them.
The counts are- in spite of all our affection they have criticized us when we were slightly un-performing or in another case, they have praised their un-capable children more than us.
This means that they have their own "I" whom they have preferred more.

03-Teacher- teacher is an unsatisfied soul, which wants a concrete monument build inform of a student and there it becomes some harsh. Also, they have their own "I's" too. But, they demand only respect and nothing more than that.

04-Society-society has a very different logic. It is generally seen that people use to criticize more than praising. But the also start admiring whenever someone reaches top-level.

05-Boss- with him/her we have got a distinguished relationship. This is a true professional one simply based on give and take philosophy. But many a times demands much more thing than professionalism. More-over he/she is the only person who makes an individual rich in quantified terms.

Here an interesting point to be noted is that the term- boss- doesn't mean a person under whom we are working only; this term includes all those relationships that are providing benefit in monetary terms or real terms and which makes us stand able in life.

06-Wife/husband- as I have earlier stated they are the individual who gives all the things of their own to their other partner and so the responsibilities are much wider.

07-Children- no body lefts his/her children alone at any instance of life.

The above discussion of ours has produced some groups to be prioritized and they are stated as-

Priority number 01- Mother& Father; Wife/husband; Children.

Priority number 02- Boss.

Priority number 03- Relatives; Teacher; Society.

Now the situation is like this that if I have to fulfill priority no. 01; I will have to strongly emphasize over priority no. 02 and priority no. 03 can not be negated at any cost. So the figure will be like this-

Now, there are again some questions-

- Is it worthwhile to say that I should have time for myself?
- Is it necessary to have ego.
- If I have time for me then whose time (life) I am killing?
- If I have ego then whose ego I am hurting?
- If I don't realize my priorities then will other realize?
- How can I be selfish?

Our life is for doing something; not for loosing something.
                             Realize "I" before "I" has nothing to be realized.

Niraj Chaturvedi
Academic Associate

Source: E-mail February 27, 2006


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