Managing Your Self Through Your Emotions


By

Prof. Medha Chintala
MBA
Faculty Member
ICFAI School of Marketing Studies
ICFAI University
Hyderabad–500 034
 


I still vividly remember how self conscious I was sixteen years ago as a teenager. It was about my short stature. At that time, nothing seemed interesting to me than my height which was my major concern, I was withdrawn into a shell. I guess I was thinking if only people's height could be borrowed. Those days were really vexing. I must have gulped down crates of increment tonics, did the bar exercises only to get warts in my palms. Used to bet with my friends that the passerby is shorter than I and then go and prove my point. Yet nothing changed. Years passed by and once I joined in my first job, I saw lots of short people doing things which were no different from the tall ones. Nobody was even bothered to take a look at me I realized, it's all about what you are, and what the contribution I gave to the world. Also I didn't owe anyone on getting an extra credit for my external-physical appearance. Essentially it's how much I appropriately allowed my emotions to rule me and contribute towards taking decisions.

Self Management & EQ: EQ is your "Emotional Quotient". Actually EQ is the measure of how well you manage your emotions and thereby your own self. Everyone has an EQ just like we have an IQ". The difference between EQ and IQ is that IQ may only help you to acquire a job, but to get promoted it's the work of your EQ-Emotional Quotient. Self Management and EQ are closely related, because they go hand in hand. Persons having good levels of EQ progress smoothly without many hurdles. It includes knowing to recognize your limitations and adjusting your life to accommodate them, at the same time living life to the full extent.

Persons having good levels of EQ exhibit the following common attributes:

  • Maintaining the right poise and temperament in good times and bad times and being affirmative but not aggressive.
  • For example, the skillful explanation to your boss on a delicate issue of how you are grappling in maintaining work-life balance, and why you cannot do an extra time this week or 
  • Or maybe like telling politely no to a friend's invitation to a party in a manner that doesn't hurt the friendship

Getting Initiated: Some good news! Emotional Quotient is not static it can be improved upon and built up. For this all you need is just be aware of the various emotions.  There's no better time to get started than right now.  Knowledge and awareness of emotions is more than half the job done. Keeping a diary at your side and maintaining a log of how you feel on what you do, can prove to be effective in being in control to begin with.

All your emotions can be put in their proper places if the following five main components governing your emotional swings are in turn managed which are:

The Golden Five defined by Daniel Goleman- to manage your emotions and yourself:

1. Impulse control.
2. Self-esteem.
3. Self-motivation.
4. Mood management.
5. People skills.

These include- motivating yourself and working with persistence; maintaining hope in the face of frustration; exhibiting empathy and compassion; interacting smoothly; and managing your relationships effectively. Such emotional skills matter immensely - in marriage and family, in career and the workplace, for health and contentment. Managing your feelings well is what self management is all about.

To sum it all up: So managing your emotions on the whole shall take control of your life and you will be active in your own recovery and find solutions from your own self. Apply the five golden points and, managing your feelings will be much easier than you think it is. Of course you will not have to do all those weird things just like I had done. In a nutshell with progress you will  have a keen sense of emotional management where you will be able to know when and where to base decisions upon them.
 


Prof. Medha Chintala
MBA
Faculty Member
ICFAI School of Marketing Studies
ICFAI University
Hyderabad–500 034
 

Source: E-mail March 10, 2006

    

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