Entrepreneurs: Improve your Attrition Rate:
(The funnier but serious side of Attrition)


Dr. Ashish Manohar Urkude
Alliance Business School
Bangalore-560 068
dr.ashish.urkude@gmail.com / ashish.urkude@gmail.com / dr_ashish_urkude@yahoo.co.in

Young generation around the world have revealed following facts and figures about why they are leaving their jobs, in the survey conducted over the seven years, 2000 to 2007.

Gone are the days when sticking to one organization for a life time and gathering mass to become senior managers. Young generation no more think that rolling stone gathers no mass.

Following are the 100 major causes of Attrition. Questions were asked through emails on the small tiny computer screen called the World Wide Web/ the Internet since last seven years. 

Findings in Attrition are few age old tricks and few new. In the ever growing economies and innovation in technologies, employers find some innovative approaches like layoff or golden shake-hand or job redundancy or some other classical reasons.

From employees' perspective, everyone finds at least one way s/he were insulted while laid-off in this growing profiteers market. You'll find human values put to door, in all the occasions.

The issue becomes serious when author had faced lay-offs in manufacturing industry thrice and one time in Information Technology organization, work experience of fifteen years. Hence, the author has tried to put this phenomenon in unique style of looking from the employers' and sometime from the employees' point of view, and sometimes from third person point of view. However, every time and every side ultimately favoring/ favored the employers.

Surprisingly few people still think that Attrition population is just a fraction with respect to growing unemployment around the world, hence not a major problem. However, when they came to know that SAP invests around USD ($) 135000 on every employee and that too every year, they came to know the real seriousness of Attrition.

Hence, now a day, everyone is finding a way to reduce attrition which is exactly opposite to what is put here in thought provoking way.

It is believed that young generation of MBA's will improve their horizons at work place, and it will make them wiser in their life. 

The serious side is put in funnier way, i.e. in the best way/ form of advice to Employers to grow their attrition rate. The article covers multi-dimensional sides i.e. negative, positive and even neutral side of Attrition. 

So, Entrepreneurs and Leaders and Managers, here is how you can improve your Attrition Rate; these are Old and New Mantras for successful Attrition:

    1. Always show an employee that s/he is burden to organization: Out of 100, 20 job jumpers claim this was the reason they left the organization.

    2. Try to thrash new generation showing them they are not worth of their job: 90% new generation has faced this situation once in while in their job,

    3. Always show his 'non-contribution areas' and not the 'contributing areas': Out of 100, 99 claimed this is the way their boss dominated since years.

    4. Always ask him what is his/her contribution and threat him for life/ job: Out of 100, 91 claimed this was the question they are asked at least once a year.

    5. Always take plans from him and implement them through others and get your name, fame and collect more incentives: Out of 100, 100 claimed their boss takes ideas and plans from them and refuses before them but implement it through others or finds ways to implement and get benefited from it.

    6. Always dupe him: Out of 100, 90 claimed that their boss have duped at least once.

    7. Always ditch him through number of people simultaneously: Out of 100, 95 claimed that every other employee has fear of losing job hence they try to please boss by this way.

    8. Always make him scapegoat: Out of 100, 99 claimed that once in a while they are made scapegoat of mistake of seniors, what could be called as a typical office politics.

    9. Always insult him and demoralize him: Out of 100, 99 claimed that when ever they tried to do a project of their mastery, the seniors or the employer always insulted him and asked to do his present job first and then only he would be allowed to take next project.

    10. Always demoralize him for better performance: Out of 100, 90 claimed that selfish senior/s always tried to demoralize to perform better than their boss.

    11. Always keep him under stresses: Out of 100, 70 feel that they are always kept under stress. This stress kills them which happen to be more than the actual job in hand, which causes lot of health and family problems.

    12. Always keep discouraging atmosphere for him on one hand and on the other hand keep better than the best for others:  Out of 100, 22 have faced this problem especially in the education and research institute where talented people were categorically cornered by the administratively smart colleagues and seniors.

    13. Always back stab him: Out of 100, 100 have faced this problem around the world. It is the most common phenomenon in the cut throat and shoot-at-sight hyper competitive market.

    14. Always allow others to do the job he is master in: Out of 100, 99 faced this problem, in the name of expansion of transferable skills, or due to fear of competition.

    15. Always do average things in front of him however do the best work /jobs behind him and get credit as well: Out of 100, 21 people in the world faced this problem, especially in the team events.

    16. Always keep misinformed about him through paid / party / best friends/ other buddies: Out of 100, 90 employees felt that grapevine is spread against a person who contributes the most among the group for their job security.

    17. Always keep him poorer than others: Out of 100, 70 felt that percentage of projects and share of the projects are given to others who are kith and keen of the employer than the actual plan developer and idea initiator. Especially I know many scientists and researchers who could not patent/ copyright/ trademark their own creation due to lack of funds and due to administrative politics.

    18. Always keep him under your nose: Out of 100, 82 felt that their boss and hence the employer always try to put him under their nose, if tried to out smart of just uttering negativism against any job/plan they are nagged.

    19. Always trap him in business intelligence in such a way that he cannot leave the job and he cannot find the job: 100 out of 100 scientists around the world felt this rug. They have this experience that they are trapped, their computer is hacked, their calls are tapped in such a fashion that they cannot leave the job; they cannot do their present job, and they cannot get the credit of their own creation, a mouse trap to exploit.

    20. Always make him target of bad happenings to stall his progress: Out of 100, 99 have experienced that to tarnish their image and record they are made target of silly things mostly bad happenings, which could stall their progress.

    21. Always get good things from him by allowing him to express his feeling and then again back stab him: Out of 100, 87 have experienced this. In the brain storming they contributed the most but the actual prize winner is always a favorite of employer.

    22. Always tell him you are not fit for this job: Out of 100, 100 have experienced this situation once a while.

    23. Always try to make him centre of attraction when it comes to ridiculing some one: Out of 100, 97 people found this has been tried on them.

    24. Always show him his class: Out of 100, 94 people have faced this problem, and are compared with unfair means. E.g. A degree from one University/ Institution with other University / Institute.

    25. Always use new methods to corner this highly talented people: Out of 100, 29 scholars have faced this situation in education and research organization and out of 100, 72 in manufacturing industry have faced this situation. 

    26. Always show him more qualified and skilled men: Out of 100, 30 people had faced this problem. Example would be when a Bachelors degree holder but high performer was shown a person with higher degree and his class.

    27. Always make him humble by showing rich men than him: Out of 100, 32 people faced this problem, whenever they out perform and make an impact, they are taken to the group of rich and are shown that their talent has no value but the money has.

    28. Always show other organizations also have same feelings about you: Out of 100, 28 employees applied for the job on the email. On enquiry, boss immediately back fired and expressed his inadequacy. Many even spoiled the confidential reports of the subordinates.

    29. Always keep a track of him and his routine to trap him: 100 out of 100 claimed that they are watched and spied over their behaviour and routine. In fact, an HR Audit was conducted against them. Many times their personal life is explored and disadvantage was obvious due to a well laid trap happened due to this track record. 

    30. Always try to restrict him in particular domain: 100 out of 100 replied they have more skills and domain expertise than the field they are working. However, boss, the employer or senior do not allow him to explore it due to vested interest.

    31. Always try to highlight his misbehavior by forcing him to irritate: Out of 100, 10 claimed that they are forced to irritate. Then they are nagged for this irritating behaviour, thus, made to look down in public.

    32. Always try to think out of the box to trap this person: Out of 100, 5 claimed that their boss always thinks some new 'out of the box strategy' to trap them, bowl them and over power them.

    33. Always show him how great you were to hire him and pay him more: Out of 100, 91 claimed that their employer at least once in a year make them feel how great he was in hiring them.

    34. Always try to dwarf his achievements: 100 out of 100 claimed that their achievements are always dwarfed before the achievements of the employer or his kith and keen or near and dear one.

    35. Always use your guns on his shoulders: 100 out of 100 claimed that their bosses use their shoulders to fire someone, even other organizations and customers.

    36. Always make him/ her in front of others when innocence is required: Out of 100, 90 claimed that their boss simply traps them in situations. However, when it comes to innocence they are put to front and are capitalized. Thus, employees are used for every situation to earn, learn, churn and feel the burn.

    37. Always make your black elements white by showing this white person: Out of 100, 92 claimed that their boss used them to white their black deeds.

    38. Always enter into corporate social responsibility but giving this person a raise: Out of 100, 89 people felt that employer used their social contacts to gain his reputation but forgot to give raise.

    39. Always keep all his strings and cards in your hands: 100 out of 100 employees felt that their boss always keeps all the strings of his work and decision power under his belt. Employer uses these strings and cards, against or in favor as per the situation at right time at right moment at right place but of course for employer's favor.

    40. Always keep good relationships with his family and friends: Out of 100, 79 hold the firm feelings that their family and friends find their boss/ employer very good. However, as the time passes these relationships are quite beautifully exploited by boss/ employer.

    41. Always tell him about the attrition rate of other companies: Out of 100, 100 claimed that in wild comparison, their boss/ employer gave factual evidence against the attrition rate of their competitors or the best employer where his employees can opt for. Thus, fear of boss/ employer becomes fear of employee. Employer uses the communication skills of paradigm shift for betterment of his organization.

    42. Always tell him bad things about the competitor and how bad it is to work with them: Out of 100, 100 claimed that almost once a year they face this communication in flowery language.

    43. Always do not allow him to upgrade: 100 out of 100 claimed that their boss never wanted them to upgrade due to fear of toppling.

    44. Always exploit his creative skills: 100 out of 100 claimed that their boss/ employer over use their creative skills for more profit but pays less.

    45. Always treat him as a rolling stone than stable one: 100 out of 100 claimed that once in while they are shown that they are rolling stone which cannot gather mass as they leave the job every after few years for some reason or other. However, employees feel that they like to contribute more and gain more experience in the diversified field but they are forced to become rolling stone than the stable and rising person down the line.

    46. Always ask him to do the things he cannot do: 100 out of 100 claimed that once in every month they face a situation when their employer ask them to do the job they are not supposed to do due to lack of skill or under skill. However, they are forced to do that job due to compulsion to keep the job.

    47. Always put him in juxtaposed situation: 100 out of 100 asserted that just when they are to leave for home at 5 p.m. boss calls them up and tells them some job as most urgent, which they cannot refuse though they have fever stricken dear ones at home. In this juxtaposed situation they are forced to take decision to keep job.

    48. Always send him to countries with extreme climate: Out of 100, 22 stressed a fact that they are not comfortable in heat still they are send in countries with hot climate, while 45 out of 100 claimed that they are not comfortable in cold climate but still their employer send them to colder countries.

    49. Always threat his reference as nil contributors to society: Out of 100, 11 employees asserted that they felt their reference were their icons and idols. However, their employer nil down their contribution.

    50. Always make him feel he has wasted his life in useless things: Out of 100, 29 were made to feel that their life was wasted in foolish habits, hobbies, and formal education. 100 out of 100 scientists are made to realize their contribution and learning was waste of their life.

    51. Always make him feel he is not well organized to do any job: Out of 100, 100 were forced to accept the fact that they were not well organized for the high profile job.

    52. Always show him his class and show him that his interests are of no worth: Out of 100, 100 declared that his boss once in while show them their class. Employer/boss also claims that his interests are no worth for his/ her job.

    53. Always make his links cut to get job done: 100 out of 100 claim that they used to do their job in no time using some specific link, however, their boss cut their link thus enabling their inadequacy.

    54. Always make him run for every work: 100 out of 100 stated that once a while they are made to run for their every work they do thus making them look foolhardy.

    55. Always pay him less than least paid employees for at least one job he is master: Out of 100, 10 felt that they were paid less than the least paid worker in the organization for some particular job they are master. E.g. Employer paid least in terms of travel allowance in distant project.

    56. Always force him to do the job/work which he doesn't like: Out of 100 employees, 100 said that at least once a week they are forced to do the job/ work they do not like. E.g. Many do not like typing, however, their boss ask them to type something very important in the form of Report/ Letter/ Technical Chart.

    57. Always bore him by quoting boring examples: 100 out of 100 employees were bored by their boss by delivering some irrelevant talk either as a part of job or else.

    58. Always ignore his achievements: 100 out of 100 employees maintain at least one record when their achievement were ignored prior to prize distribution and prize went to some most favored candidate of the boss/ employer.

    59. Always throw his work in the dust been: 100 out of 100 employees have claimed that their, the best contribution was earlier thrown into dust-bin by their boss/ employer.

    60. Always put him in a financial trap: Out of 100, 77 people were put into financial trap by their boss, and were kept integrated with the organization.

    61. Always suppress the feelings of employees: 100 out of 100 have at least one record of suppression of their feelings in a year over some important issue/work related matter.

    62. Always show him that his job has become redundant: 100 out of 100 in developed and so called knowledge economies have experienced this redundancy before they were laid off, or were warned for less productivity.

    63. Always put him in marketing job and discourage him: Out of 100, 11 have faced this problem, while job rolling or when they out performed their superior/s. especially, sells person and marketing representatives very often have faced this problem.

    From 64 onward the statements made are quite often. (Here he/ him stand for Employee).

    64. Always show him that he lacks the soft skills to excel in life.

    65. Always show him how to develop his skills but do not allow him to develop,

    66. Always prove him his team skills are bad,

    67. Always show him how he adds boring statements in the meetings/ conferences thus making the contribution nil.

    68. Always prove him he is rather bookish in approach,

    69. Always prove him his mode of conduct is quite backward,

    70. Always show him his approach is not practically applicable in the present competitive market and is rather philanthropic in nature favoring some NGO, SHG or Corporate Social Responsible Project,

    71. Always show him (With premeditate mode of action and provocation and response) a clip of his behaviour in the organization and prove he is degrading culture of the organization,

    72. Always ask him to do emergency work and ask him to find instant solution,

    73. Always ask him to make case studies and research on competitors to show your supremacy,

    74. Always ask him to find out atrocities elsewhere,

    75. Always put the employee in some kind of trouble he doesn't like, and show him he is not emotionally intelligent, 

    76. Always treat him like junior person, and treat him like your younger brother or kith and kin before others but when alone, threaten him for job,

    77. Always find out mistakes in his contribution and make his contribution nil, and tell him that you good in this but bad in that hence we cannot give you promotion, 

    78. Always whenever he is in trouble show indifferent attitude against him,

    79. Always show him where he stands in the organization, though he might be great in his own field,

    80. Always make his macro level contribution look micro and make your micro level contribution look macro,

    81. Always lure him for better and big opportunities first, then trap him and scold him for searching for new job,

    82. Always make unfair comparison and make him always look down and out,

    83. Always do the reverses of etiquettes i.e. praise him in individual meeting and insult him in public.

    84. Always make him uncomfortable by showing his ways of spending leisure time is useless things, while show him that your way of life and work adds value in life and job,

    85. Always keep him hanging between too many opportunities and promotions,

    86. Always show him how you have achieved so many things and made a hefty bank balance and show him that he is useless fellow,

    87. Always after completion of work show him how you could have saved time, money and other resources for doing the same job,

    88. Always threat him for job in one way or other,

    89. Always lure him for progress,

    90. Always show him some fantastic dream. However, try to keep him away from achieving it by keeping him a dependent person on you than making him independent not only in decision making but fulfilling his dream,

    91. Always put fear in his mind of losing his job or some untoward incidence in life or at work place,

    92. Always delay his pay cheque/ salary,

    93. Always give him bonus less than others as he is the harmless entity,

    94. Always put him in trap from which he cannot come out but resign,

    95. Always victimize him/her for wrong doing,

    96. Always demoralize him for benchmark in perfection,

    97. Always demoralize him for up gradation of his skills,

    98. Always demoralize him for pursuing projects which can fetch laurels to him,

    99. Always demoralize him by victimizing him on petty issues,

    100. Always put aside this the most talented man showing he is not fit for this job,

    101. Always show him he belongs to some backward tribe of remote jungle,

    102. Always this real contributor is side lined and kith and keen is put forward when it comes to prize ceremony, 

    103. Always tell him to do, but always put your own name when it works and when it fails show that it was this person who committed the mistake, 

    104. Always ask him to join office after few months, whenever the new project starts, a better way than actual lay off, 

    105. Always know the know-how from the expert in the field the talented employee/s work and then find some mistakes. Then get the idea and sideline these talented employees, 

    106. Always get the job done but do not pay employees, 

    107. Always employer will demand Quality people but never co-op, and cope up with them, 

    108. Always the employer wanted to build his organization but not the life of the employees.

    109. Finally, there was one employee; his Employee and seniors always wanted the help from many employees and their near and dear ones.  However, the same seniors and employer were not ready for corporate social responsibility as they were busy in some important lined up assignment, when it came to help this highly passionate employee. Thus, disheartened this employee left the organization. Now he is head of one top ranked CSR project is the top organization in the world.

Hope Entrepreneurs are the enlightened lot on how to improve their Attrition in the most dramatic way. 

Hope these facts and figure will enlighten the young generation of MBAs, on how they should plan their everyday work and life.

Hope the MBAs will get an outlook to behave wisely and to prosper in their life, and will still contribute more to their employer. This way they will believe in positive contributions only.

Come on, allow attrition to your negative thoughts and allow positive thoughts to enter in our brain from eclectic sources of/in the Universe/ Multiverse to make your real contribution to the world.

Finally, Entrepreneurs, Leaders and Managers, life is short; hence, let us try giving it for great, greater to the greatest cause.

At the work place it could be by reducing attrition and by making people happier than they are at the present moment.

Dr. Ashish Manohar Urkude
Alliance Business School
Bangalore-560 068
dr.ashish.urkude@gmail.com / ashish.urkude@gmail.com / dr_ashish_urkude@yahoo.co.in

Source: E-mail December 27, 2007 / December 31, 2007


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