Hey God

Saswati Upadhyaya
PGP 2003-2005
Xavier Institute of Management

Tell me not, in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream! For the soul is dead that slumbers, and things are not what they seem. Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal; Dust thou art; to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Oh Lord, I don't want too much "sommum bonum"

Its been like this all the way through.

Just work hard for another X no of days/months/years and then your life will be a lot better, I AM TOLD. Work hard during 10th boards,you'll get a stream of you choice, and life will be better. Work hard during 12th boards and you'll get into a good engg. college and ur life will be better still. Work hard for CAT, XAT, etc. becoz if you manage to get into a "super-league" B-school, your life will be gloriously better than ever before.

This is what i was told, or rather I imagined them to be true.

But today when I am lounging here in my hostel room at XIMB, away from my parents, my home, the lane which bears memories of my childhood, I pause to wonder-
"Is my LIFE any better, or is it just my CAREER which is better?"

I admit that I suspect my career is on the right track and I'll be able to find myself two square meals a day and eke out a decent living . But my life is much more than just my career.

Maybe I'm not ambitious enough. I don't know if this is a normal thing but I am happier eating dal-chawal sitting on the floor at my home rather than having lunch at the Taj with some VP of a multinational. I feel happier sitting on the kitchen floor chatting with mom rather than brainstorming at some plush air conditioned office. I prefer watching the news bulletin with my dad rather than watching powerpoint presentations at a corporate meeting.

I know that we need money. Everybody does. But its just an instrument to get what you want, to make your family happy being one of them. But if you sacrifice these ultimate sources of happiness for money, well then, I don't get the idea. Its like having a pen but not having the time to write a poem.

I see old couples living alone, supporting each other's frail lives while their successful children are attending meetings at the Silicon Valley. It is said that the best any parent can wish for is the child's success, but I don't accept that this old mother who spent her life caring for this child, and is now left to live her life hoping that the child will remember to call her from his/her apartment in California, doesn't feel the pain and betrayal.

So i just hope that i am not so "successful", that i don't care for the small but real joys of life. I  don't want a big car or a mansion or a job which pays me like crazy but makes me crazy with all the workload.

Yeah, I can do without a great CAREER , but give me a great LIFE God!!!

Saswati Upadhyaya
PGP 2003-2005
Xavier Institute of Management

Source : E-mail September 22, 2004

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